What if alimony didn’t exist? The day is coming when alimony will be a thing of the past. The handwriting is on the wall.
At a national marriage conference earlier this year, we watched a movie called “Divorce Corp.” While it was wrongfully extreme, it had certain elements of truth which caused me to reconsider my beliefs about alimony.
Alimony was set up as a means to protect women during the days when women did not work outside the home. It was also during times when few divorced.
Today, more women than men are graduating high school, going to college, getting degrees and filling the professional work spaces. It appears that women no longer need protection.
The movie contrasted the American versus the Scandinavian divorce systems. In the foreign countries they showed, when couples divorce, they just go their own way… and now for the slant… they live happily ever after. Everyone gets along, and according to them it is a better system. (This is where it became apparent this movie was done by those who do not want to pay alimony.)
What is the Court Enforcing?
This brought me to question… what is the law upholding when you get divorced? If both people have the ability to go into the workplace to earn a living, why is the court requiring one person to pay the other when the marriage is over? If women can now freely go into the marketplace and earn a living, why shouldn’t they? What contract is the court enforcing? Perhaps alimony is outdated.
This Is Not What I Believe
I believe in alimony… but that’s because I’m as old-fashioned. I believe the best thing for a family is for women to be industrious in the home… to be a support to their husbands… to home school children, or at a minimum, be there to pick up the children when they get out of school and volunteer in their schools. Research proves over and over this is the best for the family and the family’s health and happiness. This lifestyle often calls for sacrificing financially and of our time. The focus in not on self-fulfillment, but Kingdom building.
Is it right for a court to impose my ideas of family life on couples today? Truly, women can work in the marketplace and provide for themselves. They do not need to be protected from a harsh world where women could not make a decent living. But does that contradict the implicit understanding that couples have between themselves when one agrees to stay home to take care of the family?
The Day Is Coming
It will not be long before alimony will be a thing of the past for those who do not have a written agreement related to alimony. The argument is already being made, as I have made it here.
If You Truly Love Each Other and the Family to Come…
If you truly want to honor God in the promises that you make to one another… promises to lead God-honoring lives… promises to love one another… promises to protect each other… promises to raise your children in a certain way… then won’t you put that in writing?