The very first online buyer of my book called me early one morning under the guise of asking a question about page something of my book. His call was really a call for help. He and his fiancee had been to the pastor for premarital counseling. When he brought up the idea of a prenup, the pastor looked at his fiancee and said, “Don’t marry him. He doesn’t trust you.”
Talk about a hot topic. Sadly, I have heard this pastoral reaction more than once. A pastor whose marriage seminar was being aired on the radio stated outright that he will not marry a couple who wants to use a prenup. Are prenups bibical?
You have to look pretty hard to find specific references to prenuptial agreements in the Bible. I found this blog, Biblical Prenups, that does an excellent job of describing where prenups are found in the Bible from a literal standpoint. However, I would suggest that you back up and look at the broader picture.
Wedding Vows as A Prenup
It could be argued that wedding vows are a verbal prenup. Unless you agree to them, you will not be married. Common vows reflect God’s plan for our marriages and go something like this:
“I, Patricia, do take you, Patrick, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to live together in the Holy Estate of Matrimony; to love, honor, respect, trust, cherish, encourage, and support you according to God’s Holy ordinance forsaking all others and keeping myself only unto you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy and in sorrow, in failure and in triumph, from this day forward until death do us part.
Would you be willing to put that into writing and sign it? That would be a written prenuptial agreement. After all, by its very definition, a prenuptial agreement is a coming together of the minds before a marriage. And aren’t we called to be like-minded?
The Bible as A Prenup
Marriage is so important to God that He describes our relationship with Him as a marriage. In Revelation 19:7-9 (NIV), God describes His church as His Bride:
Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.”
(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)
Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”
Before you were a Christian, God wooed you unto Him. You might say that the offer of eternal life is a marriage proposal. Jesus offers you the riches of His glory if you will accept Him, take His name, repent of your former sin life, call Him Lord, give up your former loves, and follow Him. We know this because His promises of love and commitment are written in His prenuptial agreement. We can know because He gave it to us in writing, sealed with His blood.
Yes, prenuptial agreements can be Biblical. The real question is what would you include in yours that shows the same kind of love that God has for us?
God did not write a prenup that withheld his riches and glory. Quite the opposite. God’s prenup declares that He gave it all, including his prefect Son, for us to be able to have eternal life with Him, sharing in His riches and glory.
Will your prenup reflect that kind of sacrifice for your bride or groom?